Showing posts with label Observing us ...got to know that .......... Show all posts
Showing posts with label Observing us ...got to know that .......... Show all posts

Thursday, September 13, 2018

"Man of the house"

Definition in dictionary says "the most important male member of a family, who is responsible for doing things such as paying bills, making important decisions etc"

Who is man of the house? When there are working woman earning well hand in hand who is Man of the house? Why when a woman sharing financial burden to run a house, still society perceives woman as an associated financial entity working for fun?

Isn't it sad to know this is the way a woman is perceived after all this hard work.

I got hold of diary of a working woman, lets see glimpses from a routine day's scribbled notes of hers...

As compared to my male peers, Its much harder, more alert, more disciplined, healthily, on schedulers and reminders,
i live my day with multi-fold facets of duties to handle, just to perform at par in my workplace ?

I have educated, smart, new generation modern men all around me today. I am surrounded by men, who have been with working women, in all fields from aviation to construction sites.

But i still have men who eats like me but waits for someone to cook. I still have men out of them who when finds a messy house, looks at someone with disappointment.
I still have men who take their career decisions freely which I follow and it's well accepted in society without a hitch.
I still have men who when take care of their own child in my absence, expect a "big thank" in return.
I still have men who don't know where things are kept in their "own" homes.
I still breath in a society where creches are only women employee's "first demand and biggest relief", despite of the fact that each of those
children have a working father too.

It's not an easy world for me as a working woman and when i juggle somehow among all these and then if i perform well in my workplace, i am not graded well because same men are there too somewhere.

I am not an individual instead i am an associated entity to a man.

Its difficult to understand not only by society even by my family and parents, WHY do "I" require that coveted position or remuneration when i am just an additional source of income to house.

And I am not here to blame only men for this lopsided structure of society.

If this men world alone had to be rewired.. It would have been lot easier, its roots are deeper..
because this system is running on shoulders of women like me itself in different roles..

I will share a short story here to highlight my thought..

Nikhil one of my relative stays in guwhati in a joint family. He is most adorable son, a good husband and father of 3 kids.
He has revered & pampered his mother till last days and considered wife and kids as his secondary responsibility.
One day his eldest daughter got married and soon she was expecting a kid. You what she earnestly prayed to god..??
She diligently prayed day and night " to have a son who is just like her father ......"

Thats is opportunistic duality in our womanhood. Lets try to avoid it in relationships at home and at workplace.

lets be good to us and also to ones like us.
lets not just wish us women's day instead be justified to us in all forms around us.
lets stop being judgemental to ones not like us.
"lets teach and train our sons and brothers first before telling it to our husbands.
lets wear equality robe in all roles..
lets not be situationally and rationally equal.
lets love our kind as a whole and teach others same.

A very happy women's day.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

19/11/2013 - The day that changed my life altogether..


I delivered a baby girl ..

Thats a close recollection of what i went through in this most amusing experience of life..
It was 18th nov 2013, the date i was preparing hospital bag for getting admitted for planned C-section to occur on next morning. C section, doc already declared a week ago, was the only safe option, in hand now, which we reluctantly agreed.

-18/11/2013 - 1:00 pm
Thinking that food options would be very restricted in few coming days ..
I had sevpuri puchka and meetha kadhu my favorite parantha before leaving for hospital

We arrived at hospital. I wore yellow embroidred kurti, flaunting my full term tummy..lost in expectations to see the little creation outside soon..

I got admitted to a shared room, deluxe room were all packed. This means no one could stay with me that night.
My room mate was a lady, who got operated the day before and was groaning with pain ..
Her throat wasn't clear her voice was heavy .. i saw her through a curtain, used to separate us ..
she was muslim and delivered a baby girl and seems she caught cold..

My anasthesist came to meet me. .. She was a sweet spoken and chini mini fair skinned lady ..
By this time, I had started getting goosebumps for next day's thoughts ..
and she was a gentle warmth over this fear. She decided to give me General Anasthesia..

and While leaving the room she turned and asked "do you want a boy or a girl"?

I knew its a boy for me.. "knew" means all different symptoms people knew, to guess a boy or a girl, were hinting a "boy" for me.

She said "Girls are forever with you even if they go away" and I knew/felt and always understood the truth of this sentence from my own relation ship with my mother ..

A sudden sadness groped me .. as i was going to have a boy and mostly i won't take other chance of having 2nd child.. That means i won't ever feel lifetime friendship that a daughter offers to her mother...
I slept with this lurching feeling of sadness ..


19/11/2013 - 7 am
It was my birthday ...
I was woken up, took bath, did my prayers and called my husband on phone. They were about to reach hospital.

A nurse came before operation, gave me one antibiotic injection.. which made me sneezy suddenly..
I sneezed badly, my eyes watered, i felt feverish ..
I guess, i got appropriate tearfilled look to enter in OT...........:)

I was put on stretcher, which was now rolling towards OT. I saw a glimpse of husband and others ..
Now, The only thing i wanted was him to accompany me there..

(We had discussed it many times, i always requested him to be there with me in OT. He used to resist with a reason that he won't be able to bear the site of me getting operated..)

While i was being rolled on stretcher to OT i asked him slowly .. "Would you come? "
"naaa.." he said ..
As always i could not ask more than what he willfully gives me, i accepted and moved on ..

"Hi nidhi" said my anasthesist, i had started liking her more than my gyanec.
Sometimes a small conversation with someone, leaves such a cozy impression that it seems, you are connected more than this little apparent visit.

"How are you, oh baby you caught cold what happened, do you need otrivian?.." She asked while keeping one hand on my forehead...

"This injection caused this sneeze, last time i was cured by alagra tablet, no otrivian causes blockage i am allergic.." I replied hastily, while being shifted to operation table..

"very nice patient, very obedient, very nice hubby ..love marriage is it ?" i heard, someone said that ....

I was glad to hear that ..
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
I was hearing chit chat around me, i am surprised i again slept like i always sleep during different scans ..
Thank god i woke up .. they were still chatting and had not started yet, i thought.
.
I felt excruciating pain in lower abdomen, i tried to move but could not, my arms like tied up.. my throat jammed..
i tried to speak again "ghhh aghh "
"congratulations, its a baby girl" i heard ..someone tapped my cheek and went away...

"help help " i said

"massage" i said again

"my throat, hands" i said again

They untied my hands and held my arm.. i lifted other hand and held a hand ..
I held it tight .. as if conveying the amount of pain, that i was feeling in abdomen.

They started taking me out of OT on stretcher, i was screaming with pain.. saw Husband again ..
I could not respond what i felt.. I just let my eyes closed and was dealing with pain only ..
Someone showed me a mobile pic of first look of my daughter ..I had a look .. and again closed eyes...

I was alive in thoughts, but was not able to respond even with a smile..
I thought, there had been so many times, we(me and husband) together thought how would this day be ..
"Its there today, its so painful, i can not enjoy this feeling of motherhood.. rather i don't feel anything at the moment..."

then someone injected a pain killer injection and i went asleep...

till the next day when they called me for first Feeding session.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

A piece of advice ...

Advice for girls: When someone is romantically involved with you.... see his 'words' to judge his 'intentions' ; but pay attention to see his 'actions' to judge his 'commitment' towards intentions .

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Shd i do business of service ?

Do you have this question in mind ?

My answer is
If you have habbit to work more than your what you are paid, then jump into business ; else jump into service .................

i learnt ..........it from life ...........

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

"Did you like something......" he asked .......

Lets accept it shamelessly ,I being not at all unusual , am a person who tries to chase each single free/discounted offer in the market.

Once i was with my husband in "Center One" mall Vashi Navi Mumbai and intended to buy a handbag.I searched many places but none was into "my range" which mostly is just a little less than what is available in that shop
Finally .....

We reached to a small crowded chinese shop with so many ladies like me searching through many items available in that shop , anything you may ask, starting from tooth brush to accessories to shoes to everything and it was there in that shop at so called "reasonable rates" .I went inside with a hope of a "reasonable price" hand bag.

And... i found one , not only one but two three all together in one corner of shop hanging together on a peg !!

I was happy i found them okay in looks and tried to take out one , but "what was that ?" i found it was heavy .It had something EXTRA inside ...with it fully free

I disentangled one bag from others and tried to judge what is there inside, by shape of object , feeling it from outside of bag..judged from its sound that it was steel sound, later recognized it must be some utensil inside and ..........

i was filled with unspoken satisfaction that finally i found a bag, in reasonable range that too with Free tiffin boxes inside ..i was happy in simple words.

I went with the bag to salesman asking for price telling that i liked it and want to buy it .

"whats d price of it ?" i asked

"Its not for sale mam .."he replied

"but why? "i asked with surprise

"They are staff bags mam ....please choose some thing else from the shop ...." he said candidly ...

I was so embarrassed and wanted to hide myself somewhere into dark pit inside ground while putting his bag back to its place.

I just rushed outside that shop where my husband was waiting and

"did you like something ?" he asked

"yes but......"i said ...............:)

भूल से भूल हो गयी.........

ऐसा लगता है की
ऐसा सा लगता हैं की
खुद ही खुद को खुद ही के हाथो से
निकलते देख रही हूँ
खुद ही के हाथो से
फिसलते देख रही हूँ ...

संभाले ना संभल रही हैं
बस जिंदगी का दिया और ....
बाटी धीरे धीरे जल रही हैं
धीरे धीरे जल रही हैं
धीरे धीरे जल रही हैं .........

खुद ही की डोर जो हाथ से सरकती सरकती ..
रोकना चाह उछाल लगायी ...
भागी दौड़ी सब जान लगायी ..
संभाले ना वोह तब संभलती ...बस सरकती सरकती ...
ना जाने कब ........

बस पतंग को ढीले पड़ते हुए देखा ..
गिरते हुए धीरे धीरे कट कर
खुद की पतंग मैं देख रही हूँ ....
फिर लगता की .............

जब बाती में ज़िन्दगी से लड़ने की शक्ति थी ...
जब डोर हाथो में संभल सकती थी
तब ही उस दीपक तले ....
सपनो की चादर बुन लेती तो अच था ...
तब ही उस पतंग को आकाश की
असीम ऊंची दुनिया से मिलवाती तो अच्छा था



आज हवा चलेगी ..और बाती का तेल जलने लगेगा ..
कभी वर्षा शायद बाती को ....समय निकलने का एहसास दिलाने लगे .......
आज शायद ...हवा रुख पलट ले ...
और मेरी पतंग ...को समय के आगे झुकने का एहसास दिलाने लगे ...
और मुझे मेरी नासमझी में छूटी हुई लगाम का एहसास दिलाने लगे ..

भूल से भूल हो गयी
पर समय तो बस चलता ही रहता हैं
चलता ही रहता हैं ....वोह अपनी रफ़्तार में ...
फिर आवाज लगा कर मुझे पूछता की
तुम पीछे क्यों रह गयी ...
तुम पीछे क्यों रह गयी ...


बस मैं यही कह पायी की
भूल से भूल हो गयी ............
भूल से भूल हो गयी ............

irony that confuses ..

जहा सूखे घडो के ढेर को
लम्बी क़तर में मुह चिड़ाते
देखा प्यासी रोती सूखी आँखों ने
कुआ सूखा , नल है सूखा
चिलचिलाती धुप जलाती
गीली जीभ को भी सूखा रही है

सूखी घास पानी में गूंथे
बूखी रोती मुनिया , छाती पर बांधे
खाली बर्तन टन टन करते टंकार
कर्जा रुपी काली डायन , सीने पर कर रही झंकार
पर बापू किसान , चंद घंटे पहले
आत्महत्या का हुआ शिकार

सड़के कच्ची, बिजली न पहुंचे
भयंकर गरीबी जबड़ो में दबोचे
शिक्षा स्कूल ना समझे जरूरी
बीवी बचो संग , जम कर करो मजूरी ,

तब कोई कहता मेरा देश में कमी है
कमी देश में पानी की और अन्न की
और सबसे भारी कमी धन की ...

यह सच्चाई नहीं , पर है एक सरल बहाना
कमी कमी का डंका बजा कर , ५ साल तक कुर्सी ज़माना
प्रपंच गडा जाता है , कमी का भयंकर
भुवन भवन गगन चूमते , बनते जाते उनके समय पर

क्योंकि जहा एक तरफ का भारत प्यासा
दूजी तरफ है नग्न तमाशा
झुण्ड रैन डांस में नाचे
खेतो का पानी , पैसे वाले नाचने को खींचे

क्योंकि जहा एक तरफ का भारत भूखा
वही सड़कर गलकर ढेरो टन में
फेंका जाता कनक गट्टर में
जहा मुनिया रोये निवाले को एक
भर्ष्टाचार निगले वह मुनिया अनेक


जहा एक तरफ मेरा देश गरीब , कमी धन की जहा बड़ी है
खेलो का बहाना बनाकर , करोड़ो की लूट मची है

स्तादियम फ्ल्योवर ब्रिज और सड़के
पैसो की ज्यों बाड है आई , कहते खुद को फिर भी कड़के


कभी नाम पर चारे के ,कभी नाम पर बन्दूको के
कभी नाम पर खेलो के ,खाया खाया कितना खाया ,
लोभ की गोली खायी, और दुश्चरित्र के चूरन से सब पचाया

यु शर्म करे और सोचे खुद में

जवाब क्या देंगे गर पूछे
मुनिया किसना सुखिया हम से
क्या देश है तुम्हारी निजी जायदाद
लूटा खसोटा भेडियो सा , देख का बस अपना स्वार्थ

एक स्तादियम हजार करोड का
भर पायेगा क्या पेट हमारा

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Rigidity

The way, rigidity towards customs/culture/language, madden us, when coming generations don't own them, it gud that we forget everything in reincarnation

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

We are happy at 10 pm and sad at 6 am ...

We are sometimes happy when we sleep, as when we sleep we are close to those things which are so difficult to get when we are awake.
we can feel them,we get same pleasure which we will obtain, when actually we will get them ....so enjoy sleeping and dreaming ...its gud yaar ......
.............